All I've got to say is ... OOWWW!

Don't you just love how, right before the doc nails you with the needle and you feel like you're being stuck with a pitchfork, he says, "now, you'll feel just a little pinch..."

As I have said before, my reproductive endocrinologist is not really a "communicator." You know, really, I don't like my doctor. I see this whole process as a means to an end. He's just a tool we're using (and you can take that however you want) to obtain our goal. Now I LOVE my midwives and OB/GYN. But that a story for later. For now, we're discussing the "tool" who is my RE.

Anyway, so today I went in for an ultrasound to determine the status of my follicles after the Clomid. The doc was a bit concerned that our timing was off, and that we'd have to call knock it off and try again next month, but the blood tests showed that all was well. We now proceed to Sunday morning and the insemination.

But before that can happen, tonight I had to have an injection of HCG to trigger my body to ovulate on command. Now I don't like needles, but I usually do fine when I don't look at what's happening. Sooooo. Dear Hubby had to give the injection. The nurse who instructed him how to give the shot was very nonchalant about it. There was no mention made of the stabbing pain that would be involved.

The instructions involved mixing the injectible ingredients and preparing a syringe. The needle was only about 3/4 of an inch long, and we'd been told that the needle had to go into the skin in my abdomen all the way. Again, the nurse acted like it was no big deal, but you know, I'm not a big girl. I don't have a lot of extra padding. That needle looked really long to be going all the way into my stomach. Dear Hubby prepared the location with an alcohol pad, waited for the skin to dry, pinched together as much skin as he could, and stabbed. Yeah, it hurt. But the worst part was the burning after the fact.

The biggest problem here was I had no idea what to expect. I feel very abandoned by my doctor and the nurses at the clinic. I really think that they should have been more forthcoming about what to expect. And maybe I'm just whining and need to suck it up, because this is just how it goes. Millions of women all across the country do this every day, which is probably why such a pervasive air of disdain for infertile women seems to hang over that clinic. We're the desperate and they're our saviors, so we need to just do what we're told. There's a saying in the military that perfectly describes this situation: shut up and color.