Infertility humor

Yesterday afternoon, Dear Hubby forwarded me an e-mail exchange with one of his co-workers regarding our most recent IUI attempt. I nearly fell out of my chair laughing when I read it.

Flipper,

Ah, yes. I remember my days training Iki. Always an adventure, no?

P.S. Package delivered, expected BDA 4 Jun. Payload was determined to be 48% active with over 70M sub-munitions.

Gonk


Gonk,

Awesome MISREP, dude. I dearly hope there are secondary explosions.

Flipper


Flipper,

Based on satellite intelligence, we had solid data on three hard targets. With any luck, our combined forces have infiltrated her perimeter wall and are holding fast in a defensive position and building in strength.

P.S. Yes, I am a big, big geek.

Gonk


Gonk,

I just shot really cold water out of my nose.

Flipper

Just in case you were wondering

I'm not writing about my post-insemination days this month because I have my head well and firmly stuck in the sand about it. I am not paying any attention, other than taking my daily temperature for my BBT chart. I'll let you know when my next cycle starts. Or not.

I am instead focusing on the wonderful progress that Dear Hubby and I are making in the front yard, and the impending move of my mother and sister-in-law.

Mom is coming from my home town in New Mexico. She has finally decided that there is nothing left for her there, and is interested in a change of scenery. I applaud this momentous change she is making! She has never been known to make momentous changes in her life without a looonnngggg period of deliberation beforehand. But this will be her 2nd momentous life change in 4 years, which is almost spur-of-the-moment for her! So, Dear Hubby will fly out in a couple of weeks to pack up her entire life and move it to the flatlands of Oklahoma.

The sister-in-law is moving back here from Texas. She moved there when my brother came back from Korea. But now that he has been extended in the desert, she is tired of living amongst other military wives who live in constant fear that the next knock on the door will bring the unit commander bearing the worst sort of tidings a wife who's husband is in a war zone can get.

And given that Dear Hubby and I have been in the military for so many years, this abundance of family coming to live so near is exciting. And a little scary.

And now, a refreshing sidebar

My cat licks windows. Information I've gotten on the Web says that he might have anemia or a vitamin deficiency. I plan to get it checked out. In the meantime, I'll just continue to think he's odd.

He's a snuggle kitty at night, but like clockwork every morning at 6:00 a.m., he makes his way from the bed to the bedroom window farthest from me. This is probably because he knows that the further the target, the worse my aim. Then he starts licking the window like it's the yummiest thing in his little kitty world. And I'm a light sleeper, so as soon as the licking begins, I'm awake. At 6:00 a.m. Which would be fine except that I don't have to get up for work until 7:00. So after I have thrown at him whatever I can reach, I try to go back to sleep.

But it gets worse! As if to make up to me for his early morning transgression, he climbs back on the bed and asks to get under the covers with me next to my pillow to snuggle! So now, I'm falling back asleep, and the snuggle ensues such that when my alarm goes off at 7:00, I oversleep and am then late for work.

This is just not fair.

To Blog or Not to Blog

I have been on the fence as to whether or not to post regarding the events of the last week and a half. As we all know, IUI cycle 1 was a bust. But what happened after that, well...

Let me explain.

I have always been the kind of person who, when stuck in a stagnant situation, will change course. I do not like stagnation! I have known too many people who complain about their situations but who don't do anything to change those situations! Onward and upward, I say!

So. We are now at 3 years and 2 months infertile with one miscarriage. But I can't change this. I have no control whatsoever. I can do nothing but pray.

Sidebar. I have become both an infertility blog writer and reader and have found that these women are either "out" or "in the closet" about their infertility, at least to the world at large. And these brave women who are "out" about their infertility and who write about what they're going through and how they feel are a source of comfort and inspiration to me. So because of these women, I have decided to write about what has happened since the end of my last cycle.

May 4: my period showed up
May 5: trip to Dallas, Cinco de Mayo, copious margaritas during dinner
May 6: my 35th birthday heralding my change in status to "Advanced Maternal Age"
May 7: meltdown in the UPS store

I called my boss after the oh-so-embarrassing door-kicking incident and told her I thought I would need some time off. Maybe a lot of time off. She has always been super supportive and this time was no different. I love my boss! On Tuesday, I went for my first ever appointment with a counselor. See, this is part of my whole "change of course" need. What I've been doing hasn't been working. I need to do something, anything, different to keep from losing my mind. I spent the rest of the week puttering around the house and had my second appointment with said counselor on Friday.

I like my counselor so far. She motherly and I feel comfortable around her. She's in the process of picking my brain to see what makes me tick or what stresses me out. Hopefully she will be enough of a catalyst for change that I will keep my wits about me through whatever comes: more IUI, maybe even IVF (panic, panic!)

As my husband likes to say, we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

Postscript

Today is cycle day 12. My experience with Clomid this month was pretty uneventful, with almost none of the side effects of last cycle except for some slight moodiness. Tomorrow I go in for my day 13 ultrasound and should trigger tomorrow night. That means insemination 2 should be on Friday morning.

Onward and upward!

And we're out of the game

My period came this morning.

*tears, frustration, kicking the couch

I don't want to want a child anymore. I want to go spend my money on diamond earrings and power tools for my husband.

Does anybody have a pill that will make the wanting go away?

Pregnancy Watch: Day 11

My temperature fell this morning. Damn.

Pregnancy Watch: Day 9

Ack! I can't stand it! I don't know if this cramping I'm having in my abdomen is pre-menstrual or implantation related. The two weeks one has to wait between ovulation and pregnancy confirmation is the very definition of torture!

In other news, Dear Hubby and I are currently house hunting for my mother, who is moving to Soonerland in June. And let me tell ya, it's amazing how much housing prices can go up in just one short year. It's truly a crime that wages don't follow suit.

Stay tuned!